Changing the core

imageAs above, so below.” The cause and effect of the opening up, giving one’s Self to another and the dynamic surge in consciousness, well known in the union of two people, exemplifies the same opening up, giving of one’s Self and the resultant surge in consciousness in the union (yoga) with the All, Prana, God, Bob, whatever ya’ll wish to call universal forces.

 

Yoga: To unite; generally the Atma with the Atman, or the universal soul with the individualized aspect of that soul; moi.

All physical aspect of yoga practice, whether Pranayama (breathing regulation), showing off in Mayurasana (Peacock Pose) or secretly snoozing in Savasana (Corpse Pose), are all prerequisite and foreplay for the real yoga of union to the higher.

Hatha yoga, as well as Ayurveda, releases and empties us of Ama (toxins) and toxic stress.  When we empty our vessel, we make room for something new.

Yogic concentration and meditation, much like the diaphragmatic opening of the thoracic cavity attracts oxygen’s flow in, expanding our consciousness to form a psychic vacuum to attract the flow higher energy.

My teacher always reprimanded, do not bring an experience that isn’t real, (don’t talk about something you haven’t experienced). So beyond all the exquisite prose, my experience is this:

My Hatha yoga, all the bendy stuff, centers me, brings my mind to the present, clear of distraction and brings my emotions to the present, calming the pond. This brings my physical body to an inner peace, ready for what will come.

I meditate, not in Corpse but in Lotus, centering my attention solely on my breath. My breath becomes slower and deeper all by itself, as if that pose triggers that effect. Focused on my breath, my body relaxes more and more to tranquility. I purposefully split my attention between my breath and individual parts of my physical and energy bodies, releasing all tension, from the top of my skull down through my body, my fingers and toes, visualizing all tension draining like water.

I recheck my tensions every so often during my meditation as they can creep back up with out notice like V.D.

My attention, all by itself, though focused on the rhythm of breath, kinda drifts away from breath, because I am not my breath as I am not my body.  I tend to be conscious of myself as if behind my Self looking on, drifting further and further from the shore of my usual, daily identification with this walking, talking automaton.

This rigmarole takes about twenty minutes.  This is the emptying of the vessel. Then, sometimes, if I’m very quiet and still, I can feel it.  My attention notices a fine energy flowing through me. A much higher frequency than my normal buzzing. I wont speculate if this energy is descending down through my skull, being inhaled in prana, or if I’m only now aware of it’s ever-presence; I don’t think at all.  I accept.

The more I expand my awareness of this ‘new’ flow, this vibrating consciousness-energy taking over my being, the greater it’s pull.

“Tat tvam asi” or “I AM THAT”; I am not my body, not my mind or heart stirrings, but this ever present conscious oneness.

I experience my presence beyond my physical barrier.

I know both quantum and the universal, it too is one; all is one.

I am part of that and I am that.

I can open my eyes; I can know things, not with my mind but with the consciousness of the universe.

I experience what will happen because it is all before me like a level plane, an infinite game board.

Everything is absolutely true. I can see what should happen, to be harmonious with the stream of evolution.

I can see what will probably happen that is not harmonious.

I am everything around me.

I am love.

I am.

Then a pretty girl sashays by and I lose it all.  I’m just sitting there in the grass.

But, there is some residual something left over in me; something that has crystallized in me that has changes the core of my existence. Something that cannot be altered or ever forgotten.  I have seen what being alive should feel like.  This is forever now a counter-weight on the scale of life, weighing what is real and what is sama (illusion).

I am now forever a seeker for that oneness, sometimes like a haberdasher’s patron, other times like a strung out crack addict.

I am constantly drawn toward that magnetic level by the magnet within my soul.

Some days I am there, vibrating, conscious, present, being selflessly led by something greater than my own desires.

Some days I try to ignore it, because to really be alive, to really experience the beauty and the world-wide pain of the world seems an Atlas’s burden, so I get drunk. But I cannot ignore it, I am it. I am ever so slightly, changed.

Continuity. I used to get sick of hearing my teacher remind me every day about the need for continuity in my practice, my meditation.

It is the intent, the effort and the daily practice, going back home to that oneness, that tantric union with the all that forms a new body, now inseparable.

My teacher used to call it the second river. We are generally flowing unconsciously, uncontrollably down a river.  But there is a second river we see when we want to, and we can jump into it at will.

I get wrapped up in distractions, my mind wanders to ‘if’s, my feelings get hurt, I react like Pavlov’s puppy to my desires, but I always come back ‘om’, when I sit still, and ‘be’ quietly. The greater influence is always there. I can always choose to stop and ‘be’ consciousness, to be love. That is what is real and ever present, and I AM THAT.

Advertisements

One thought on “Changing the core

Leave a Reply to Erica Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s