Don’t kill the messenger

UnknownFalse = To become enlightened I must destroy my ego.

False = My ego makes me feel ashamed, jealous, selfish, shallow, and fearful.

True = The ego is neither good nor bad, it is simple an aspect of Karma, cause and effect. It is the creative part of my mind that protects the view of myself that I have created by my inner dialog

We are all perfect images of the infinite Spirit, We remember this as we are reborn, Children of Light Eternal, into this plane again and again, until external experiences delude us and make us forget our magnificent light.

Case study = I was a Child Of Light Eternal (C.O.L.E.), When I was abandoned as a child I began to feel shame of being somehow deficient. My ego developed an experience to reinforce this view, beginning an inner dialog, explaining why i should feel jealous, selfish, shallow and fearful.

Even as my soul remembered my truth as a C.O.L.E., my ego showed me my disconnect.

This is the dis-ease in us all.

Feeling disconnected from my source, that little light flickering deep within, I sought ways to drown out the voices of my ego. I had a great time doing it, but all the sex, booze and maladaptive coping responses couldn’t fill the hole I felt. I am blessed that my search turned somehow inward. I devoted myself to spiritual practices.

I came back to my source in moments of meditative union, and periods of super-consciousness that lasted for weeks. But my ego had already built a sturdy facade between the spiritual and earthly worlds, and in my experience they where two continents.

I became a spiritual guru by day to contrast feelings of shamefulness drinking away the night, I became a gregarious lover to shade me from jealousy, I surrounded myself with pretty things to feel self worth and dared the worst God could offer to nullify my fear. My overcompensating personality become the epitome of the “sexy guru;” well loved, respected and sought after.

I can remember being interviewed by Yoga Journal at a conference in Miami. Even while I was talking my awareness was reflecting on how cool I was. My hair was always styled for free and most of my clothes were being given to me by yoga-fashion designers. I was invited to the best parties, and the bedrooms of the most beautiful women. My entire life was a walking, talking billboard to my ego’s persona. Yet I still felt the fear of exposure. If I let my guard down, everyone would see me for the deficient little boy I still saw myself as. My ego, armored with my inner dialog was and is a great viking warrior guarding the treasure of me.

That was some years ago. Now I’m super enlightened…. well, more aware ?

I don’t wrestle or fight with this guardian, I have employed him. He is not in the way of my light. He’s just doing what I have told him to do through my own beliefs. He will either hold up the mirror of disconnect, discontent and dis-ease, or tilt the mirror toward the sun showing me my infinite light. My only job now is to use him to my advantage. Me ego is ever waiting to help show me what ever I tell him, through my inner dialog.

The question I must ask is, what am I telling him?

When I listen to what I have told my ego in the past, I understand why it acts the way it does. When I witness the bridge between my thoughts and my actions, I no longer need to feel the friction of disharmony within myself. I become empowered with clarity and integrity. I make new thought choices to change the job description of my own ego.

Instead of telling myself, and therefor my ever eavesdropping ego, that I should be ashamed of my past, I tell myself that I AM FREE. All my past experiences are neither good nor bad, but have been completely and divinely necessary to bring oneness with the Divine today. That is the definition of atonement. I would not be who I am now, unless I learned those lessons then. I honor my past and let it go.

I AM FREE, All things are conspiring in my favor for my higher good. ALWAYS.

Instead of telling myself, and therefor my ever eavesdropping ego, that affection is a precious finite commodity, to be wrangled and hoarded, I tell myself that LOVE IS EVER FLOWING. jealousy is silly. Love is not given or taken, but flows from the infinite source. When you feel my affection you are in union with the infinite source. When I feel your affection I am in union with the infinite source. It is not you nor I, but love itself.

I AM LOVE, All things are conspiring in my favor for my higher good. ALWAYS.

Instead of telling myself, and therefor my ever eavesdropping ego, that I am anything other than an infinitely creative force, I tell myself that I AM ALWAYS BLESSED. There is no need to grasp on to money, lovers or even ideas. I am the infinite course of abundance in anything I truly desire.

I AM BLESSED, All things are conspiring in my favor for my higher good. ALWAYS.

Instead of telling myself, and therefor my ever eavesdropping ego, that I am able to establish my worth by what I possess, I remind myself to meditate, experience my union with the cosmos, look within and see that I AM DIVINE. Worth is not based on wealth, position or bra size. What is worthy is what brings my attention back to the infinite course of all things, and all things are love.

I AM DIVINE, All things are conspiring in my favor for my higher good. ALWAYS.

Instead of telling myself, and therefor my ever eavesdropping ego, that I need to fear going broke, or growing old, or goddess knows what, I tell myself ALL OF THE ABOVE. For Fear is only present were union in love is absence.

I AM FREE

I AM LOVE

I AM BLESSED

I AM DIVINE

The ego is ready to work for me, just as it always has been, to make my beliefs manifest into the world I see around me. And by being conscientious of my internal dialog I consciously create a world of peace, of love and beautiful women.

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