Oh My Goddess, I let her slip away. One day I looked up and she was gone, energetically, emotionally, gone. Now I feel a tremendous abyss of absence. That amount of love and light that filled the world is now the amount loss and shadow that covers it. I lost her.
Now what. What do I do when I realize I have made a terrible life altering mistake.
My pain is purposeful.
It is my guidance system leading me into my greatest expression of ecstasy.
Each time I feel loss or lost, disconnected, or dis-ease it is my compass pointing to the direction I DONT want to go. Like “Oh shit, wrong way!”
Sometimes when a take on a situation doesn’t feel right, I have to back up and try again.
It was a “mis-take.”
So why, why do “mis-takes” happen?
The answer lies in how often I ignore what my heart is longing for.
The more often I listen to the thousands of mis-directing thoughts, excuses and justifications that take me on all the diverging directions around my fears the less I know my truth. The more often I follow my heart, regardless of fears, the deeper that groove of truth is worn into my path. What at first appears frightening becomes my nature. I must love through my fear.
Sometimes what doesn’t make sense, but feels good in the moment, is my true path. Because this moment, every moment is real. This moment and only this moment is when I may open my heart and be at one with Source. Thinking is not connection to Source. Thinking takes place in the past failures and future fears, both of which are disconnected from Source.
My job is to get out of my head, and back into my heart, to notice my emotions and recalculate my route, swerving ever closer to what makes me feel perfectly euphoric.
We all have that Innate desire for full self expression of Source, to BE fully and passionately.
We are The Source of ALL THAT IS, as the formless creator experiences itself in infinite forms.
We are here in this life “form” to experience all there is and to expand energetically into and emanate the greatest passionate Source’s love and joy. All that we experience, All of our outer and inner journeys are to this aim, to come into resonance with fullest expression of The Source of ALL THAT IS.
My Mis-take is not, it is a recalculation, a chance to move again from Source this time, to at-one (come back into oneness) with my heart.
Is she gone for good, maybe, maybe not.
Am I passionately present for her?